Building Rapport in the Land of LOLs and Likes
In a world where the handshake has been replaced by a follow, and where we often interact through screens rather than in-person, building trust can be viewed as a challenge or an opportunity. We believe it to be both!
How do we build genuine rapport and trust when meeting face-to-face isn’t an option? Here are some strategies to help you connect meaningfully in today’s digital world.
With digital communication, it’s often the little details that matter.
More often than not, we’re interacting with AI Chatbots and it’s certainly noticeable. People who send out AI-generated messages to connect with their peers are missing the personal touch, we’re not wired to connect with robots! Whether it’s an email or a message on LinkedIn, personalize your communication by referencing something specific about the person or their work and make an effort to share your own story. Now, can AI help with that? Of course! But sending out AI generated messages without first reviewing, and adding a touch that perhaps ONLY a human could add, is the difference between prospects feeling spammed or respected.
If you can’t meet in person, video calls are the next best thing.
They allow for visual and vocal cues that text alone can’t provide. When setting up a video call, ensure you’re prepared. Dress appropriately, find a quiet space and be mindful of your body language. Look into the camera when speaking so your customer senses you’re looking directly at them, not the other tabs that might be open on your screen! Now, all of this should be obvious after all this time being on line. Perhaps it is, but it still remains less common than it should be.
So, here is the expert move to see if you’ve got a “knowing doing gap”: record your next zoom meeting, then watch yourself back with a critical eye. Are you doing what you know to do, or have bad habits crept in over time? Watch with the sound off, and then with the sound on, and see what you see! I’m betting you’ll see something cringeworthy (I know, we all hate the sound of our voice!) that you can improve upon. They say the camera adds ten pounds, but zoom calls rob you of 10 points of excitement, so raise your energy, enlarge your smile, pay closer attention than you have to in a face-to-face meeting, when there are fewer distractions.
Empathic listening is crucial in any conversation, but it’s even more important in a digital setting where nuances can be lost.
Make an effort to fully understand the other person’s points of view, how they are feeling and what really matters to them. We add the tone of voice to someone else’s text messages or emails which can leave room for error and, to a degree, that same thing happens on virtual calls, especially when cameras are off. So, what if you miss something? Recreate what you think you heard to show you’re engaged and to clarify any misunderstandings. This not only builds rapport but also fosters trust because we love great listeners. After all, they give us the thing we love the most: the opportunity to talk about ourselves! 🙂
Now, if communication is written rather than virtual face to face, a few additional good habits make all the difference…
Timely responses are a sign of respect and professionalism.
Aim to reply to messages and emails promptly, and if you commit to something, follow through. Reliability builds trust, and in the digital world, it’s just as important as it is in-person. People send emails because they are fast and give them a sense of completion (a big tick in a real or imagined checklist). But the ones that require replies pile up in mental filing cabinets, while we wait for a response, often causing some anxiety. Consider that each time you respond, especially quickly, it’s a small gift in the form of some mental “relief”. That doesn’t mean you have to be always on. In fact, you’re more likely to be on top of your email if you time block your day and have dedicated email time at the start and end of each day.
Regular communication can help maintain and strengthen connections.
The great thing about going digital is we can connect much more easily and regularly. Schedule periodic check-ins to catch up, discuss progress or plan for the future. Consistent interaction shows you value the relationship and are committed to keeping it strong. In other words, don’t assume that frequent emailing builds real world connection. It does not. Deep and trusting relationships can be maintained, to a degree, over email. But they are built and strengthened with some face to face connection built into the cadence of the relationship.
Digital etiquette is crucial, but like good manners, it is rare.
Avoid ALL CAPS (which can come off as shouting, unless you do indeed intend to signal a raised voice!!!) and be cautious with humor, as it can easily be misinterpreted without context or the look on your face to indicate that you are, indeed, trying to be funny. Clear, respectful communication fosters a positive environment and helps build trust. Now, that doesn’t mean that a little silly humor has no place in email correspondence. But think for a moment how a stand up comic’s routine might fall flat if it was sent over email! Just because it’s funny in your head, doesn’t mean it will be funny on the other side of the email you send!
Bottom line: True connection isn’t about the medium, it’s about the message! But the message can be lost, distorted or watered down when we communicate only over digital media. And, since “trust is built in drops, but lost in buckets” (Kevin Plank), remember that a little digital faux pas can mean a big loss of trust in our relationships. Unfair, but true!
The good news? You can use these tips to ensure you continue filling that bucket!